ומשהו קטן לקינוח, מהמרתפים של פגמניה המיילינג ליסט של רובין היצ'קוק, שהעליתי בחכתי סתם כשחיפשתי דברים מעניינים עלי בגוגל (ותודה לעידו (?) ונמרוד על שמצאו את הקטע המבריק הזה אז ב-1997 ולנוח ששיתף את חברי פגמניה בזה, ובכך הנציח אותו לעולם משורבב עם שמי). קטע, אגב, שלגמרי פרח מזכרוני, וכיף לקרוא אותו שוב.
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Date: Wed, 25 Jun 1997 19:34:19 +0300
From: Noah Shalev noe @corky.net
Subject: [Fwd: (Fwd) Application form]
Subject: (Fwd) Application form
Date: Wed, 25 Jun 1997 12:00:11 +0300
From: "Nimrod S. Kerrett" zzzen @netvision.net.il
(by way of Boaz Rimmer boaz @corky.net)
This came from Ido.
88
>This is an actual essay written by a college applicant to NYU.
>The author was accepted and is now attending NYU.
>
>3A. IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO
> KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE
> FOLLOWING QUESTION:
> ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR
> ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE
> YOU AS A PERSON?
>
>I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing
>ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch
>breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat
>retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write
>award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.
>
>Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
>
>I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I
>can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and
>I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert
>in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
>
>Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once
>single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin
>from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I
>was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous
>documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges
>in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after
>school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
>
>I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless
>bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of
>corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private
>citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine
>and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New
>Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat
>400.
>
>My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in
>international botany circles. Children trust me.
>
>I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly
>accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David
>Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire
>dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every
>food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert
>operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep,
>I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully
>negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small
>bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
>
>I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all
>paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in
>full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of
>life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary
>four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.
>
>I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan,
>cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at
>the Kremlin.
>
>I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and
>I have spoken with Elvis.
>
>But I have not yet gone to college.
88
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לפעמים נדמה שהאינטרנט היה אז יותר כיפי. את מה שאז התקבל כמכתב שרשרת אנונימי, היום ניתן ברגע לדעת שהוא נכתב על ידי יו גלגאר (Hugh Gallagher), כפי הנראה לא כבקשת קבלה אמיתית לקולג', ואף זכה בתחרות כתיבה הומוריסטית. אגדות אורבניות נוספות, אולי על ידי גלגר עצמו טוענות שהוא כן ניגש עם מכתב זה ממש למספר קולג'ים.
